yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
We're too hungover to prance.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
