We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
