I love black thongs
"it" just moved
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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