I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
