please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize