she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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