i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
