guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
