We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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