why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
