i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
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