i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
