omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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