my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
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why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
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