PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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