I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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