when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
