i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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