The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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