No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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