if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
