I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
