i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
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