The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
