And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
