You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize