Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
