is your mom at the bar?
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
