you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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