I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
