we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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