There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
