you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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