What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
he quoted the bible to break up with me
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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