I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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