even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
