AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
