i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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