Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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