The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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