Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Well I just put wine in my tea
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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