I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
