You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Randomize
