You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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