but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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