Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
