I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
