I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
