I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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