i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
