Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
