I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Randomize
