you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
