Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize