I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Randomize
