You're so nebulous sometimes
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
