I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize