is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
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