If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
