just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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