i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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