I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
