Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
We are all done wearing pants today
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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