somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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