So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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