im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
