Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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