How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
