clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I queefed so loud it echoed.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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