pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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