So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize